Best Parenting Advice EVER (Part II)

A.K.A. "Yet another reason I love my wife" (She sent me this).

If anyone has issues opening it up to make it more legible let me know and I'll re-post it in pieces or something...

Why I Have No Hair (Besides Genetics)

The number of days left on the little voting macro to the right side of the screen? That's how many days until the due date. Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth a little bit. It's one thing to plan for a wedding, or something else with a set date. It's another thing entirely to try and prepare for someone/ something that could happen at any minute.

The hormonal imbalances that pregnancy brings. It's amazing the highs and lows that happen in a normal day. A quick example- remember the scene at the end of "Goonies" on the beach where Chunk tells Sloth that he's gonna live with him and his family? Ever even remotely consider crying during that? Me either. But I have now seen it happen. My wife cried during Goonies. I rest my case.

I have a job that I find at times absolutely fascinating and compelling, and at other times maddeningly frustrating. There is nothing more stressful than learning a new skill "on the fly". What I basically mean by that is that I'm getting better at what I'm doing, but every time I hit a bump in the learning curve it makes me want to scream out loud.

As a result I'm struggling a little bit with the balance between time at home and time at work. In fact, for the past few weeks there was no balance. I have been averaging between a ten and eleven hour day for close to the past month. Here's hoping I can find some of that balance again soon. It's one of the things I've worried most about since I knew we'd be adding to our family by one.

Money. Any extra you find lying around just let me know. I'll be glad to clean up for ya'.

Oh yeah, and........ (big breath)

MakingSureTheBillsArePaidSpringCleaningGettingTheBaby'sRoomReadyBalancingTheFamilyBudgetMakingSureIRunSpendingTimeWithMyLovelyWifeAndReadingToMySonEachNightWhileDoingMyBestAtWorkAndGettingTheOldCarFixedAndOhYeahGettingOurWeddingPhotosPrintedBeforeWeStartTakingNewBabyPhotosWhileAddingBabyToMyHealthcarePlanAndFindingAGoodPeditrician.

If it sounds like I'm bitching I apologize- I don't mean to. Like I said in a previous post, I enjoy the ride, I really do. It just amazes me how much stuff seems to happen all at once, before baby even shows up. That's why I think all parenting books should begin at conception (or maybe a few days after- that's probably TMI) and not at birth.

Everyone who has told me stories about being a parent starts from the point where the child was born. They're starting that story about nine months too late.

Suggested Reading Material (6+yrs.)

Some suggested reading material for the slightly older set:

A 63-year old man who once worked as a janitor has solved what was the longest currently unsolved mathematical conjecture in existence. (Insert Good Will Hunting Reference Here)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23729600/

What I find so fascinating about this problem is two-fold.

1. The simplistic nature of such a complex problem can be described, and understood by anyone with a little bit of patience and even a remote interest in mathematics.

Basically the conjecture stated that you could take any number of points, and by connecting them with a series of one-way "roads" highlighted by use of only two colors, you could create a set of distinct "paths" that would allow you to get to any point on the "map" from any other point with a set of directions no more complex than a list of color-combinations; like this:For example, if you want to get to the spot marked in yellow the following path will get you there: Blue-Red-Red-Blue-Red-Red-Blue-Red-Red. It matters not where you start, you will always finish at the yellow spot. Try it at different starting spots. You'll always end at yellow.

For Green you ask?

Blue-Blue-Red-Blue-Blue-Red-Blue-Blue-Red

The trick is that while the solution to the example shown above is fairly simple no one had been able to prove mathematically that it was possible to this this same thing for any given number of points; five, five hundred, or even five thousand.

2. The solution/ theorm was written in only eight pages.

Now granted, the contents of those eight pages are more complex and technical than most anyone could understand, but in mathematical fields it represents a solution with the simplistic equivalent of a grade-school textbook.

The implications of this work are far-reaching, even to us. New mapping capabilities using GPS systems that would allow you to find your way somewhere, anywhere, even if you didn't know where you currently were.

And there are even electronic equivalents, meaning no e-mail or computer file would ever get lost again. The documenting capabilities are almost limitless.

Sometimes math can be cool. Even when we don't entirely understand it.

Test Driving

Over the past few weeks, besides all of the normal getting-ready-for-baby type things we've been doing (like getting the room ready and starting the shower registry) there have been two others which have kinda trumped the rest: finding a child-care provider and finding a new car.

I'm glad to announce that both issues have since been solved as we have found a full-time nanny for the LAB (no, we didn't hit the lottery, I'll explain) and just last week bought a new car that the principal of Katie's school called a "mommy car"'.

So, because I like lists I'm going to make one here.

"Ways in which looking for day-care and a new car are alike":

1. What kind of options can we afford? Do we just get something basic, or can we afford a few "bells and whistles"?
2. Is is something we're going to be happy with five years down the line?
3. Will it keep the LAB safe?
4. How will people judge us based on our decision?

Our finalized day-care situation is, in fact, a lot like PhillyCarShare. We have "chipped in" on a full-time nanny that we would otherwise not be able to afford on our own with a few other families that attend the same church as we do. The lady is certified, CPR trained, background checked, and was once the manager of a day-care facility who didn't like how the facilites owner wanted to run things. It has all the advantages of private child-care at a fraction of the cost.

And now we have a new car to pick him up in too.

Guess it's time to start painting his room.

Professional Soccer's Here (In 2009)!

(Another one I started a while back... oh well, better late than never.)

Major League Soccer (MLS) has awarded their 16th franchise to the City of Philadelphia (Well, Chester really if you check out my previous rant on this issue.) While I may not be thrilled with the decision of venue from a purely political standpoint, it will not keep me from supporting the new team as they prepare to be the loudest, most well-supported, most over-the-top obnoxious fan base the league has ever seen. In other words, typical Philly. A few highlights to-date:

• A team-supporters group, the "Sons of Ben" was formed several years ago, when there was no team, and even the prospect of a franchise was nothing more than a long-shot. Since then they have been responsible for the following:
• Formation of a season-ticket base that already rivals that of more than 3/4 of the league's member teams; a full two years before the first game is to be played.
• Attendance of the supporters group at last years MLS Cup Final, during which they cheered for themselves, and for the Houston Dynamo while firmly entrenched in the sections of the stadium patrolled by the Midnight Riders; the supporters group of the New England Revolution. Why? Because they could.
• To that point, road trips to games at the homes of DC United and RedBull NewYork; all the while cheering for themselves. Why? Because in a few years DC and NY will be the teams' natural rivals but they didn't want to wait any longer to start "pissing those wankers off".

And yes, the abbreviation is the S.O.B.'s.

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(Sung to the tune of Camp-Town Lady)

"We've got any many Cups as you- Red Bull New York"

"We've got as many Cups as you-- and we don't have a team!"

Suggested Reading Material (0-6 yrs.)

So I've been reading to the LAB before bed at night in an attempt to coax some more reactions out of him. Specifically, I wanted him to do the can-can in Kate's tum-tum. (Yes, I know... baby talk and the LAB's still 4 months from showing up- sue me.)

Some of what I've been reading to him so far:

Guess How Much I Love You
Fox in Socks
Green Eggs and Ham
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
The Sleep Book (Thanks Auntie Myra!)

I'm fully aware most of these are Dr. Seuss books and make absolutely no sense. That's Ok. Kinda like reading all the parenting books... I'm pretty sure the whole process is simply to give us something to do to keep from going nutzo waiting for the LAB to show up. And honestly, it's kinda hard to carry the stress of the day over to bed with you when you have to read the following:

"Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.That's what made these three free fleas sneeze."

I should have started reading these years ago. Maybe I'd still have some hair on my head if I had.

And the reading has apparently provoked some sort of response. Katie says that every once in a while during story-time she'll get a good kick or two from him. We even took it so far as to tape record me reading the stories so she could play them back to him. I'll explain...

That loop-da-loop on the roller coaster I mentioned a few weeks back? I had to take a short-notice trip overseas to the United Arab Emirates for work. I was gone for a week and immersed in a culture completely foreign to me. Between that and getting ready to take a shot at my PE licensure exam this Friday things have gone from crazy to completely insane. I'm averaging about 5 hours of sleep a night and worrying that that's too much.

So anyway, to keep up the story-time routine at night we recorded me reading the stories on a small digital voice recorder so that at night Kate could just hit play, lay the recorder on her belly, and Gideon got his story; even when dad was 10,000 miles away (literally). Like I said, we do these things to keep us occupied. Anyway, she said that while I was gone, and he continued to grow, the kicks have been stronger and more frequent.

So maybe it's for baby too, but call me a skeptic. I just feel good doing it.

A Long Overdue (no pun intended) Update:

Some pictures I've had of my beatuiful little fetal oven that I've held on to for too long: My baby momma at 20 Weeks and her hair was growing faster than the stylist could cut it. A previously un-mentioned side effect of the hormonal changes, coupled with the pre-natal vitamins. Forget steroids- Barry Bonds should have just gotten pregnant.

Now we're at 22 weeks and the belly is really beginning to show. You know what they say about fat men and Horizontal stripes- well it's the exact opposite for pregnant women. I think she looks cute pregnant so anything that shows off the belly is just fine by me. The look on her face in the second one is because we had just gotten home from work, I was having issues with the digital camera, and this was roughly the 20th attempt I had made at taking a decent picture. Oh, and did I mention it was snack time?
23 weeks and getting ready for hosting my family for Easter Dinner. Trust me- she's wearing shoes...
"Hey- eyes up here!" She was convinced I had the zoom on the camera and was taking pregnant boob pictures.

More to follow as baby grows.

Update: Gideon is kicking like a champ all the time now. I felt two good ones just after dinner alone tonight. The real test will be to see how freaked out I get once he starts getting big enough to where I can see him moving instead of just feeling it.